I stay, just where I am, for now...

Watching from a distance
I smile
I pray
The curtain has risen
The moment for which a million hours were spent waiting, has come
I watch
I feel
I pray
And, I stay
Just where I am
There are plans
And then there is reality
There are ideas
And then there is action
And sometimes, when it is all over you have to sit back and watch
Just watch
Take some time
This was not the plan
Yet so it is
So be it
The race is over
The contest begins
I cross my fingers
I watch
I smile
I pray
And I stay
Just where I am
Till the next turn on the way



So! It has begun... 
The cover of my debut novel is out and the book is days away from gracing bookshelves across bookstores. Is it a new start? Yes. Is it the start of an entirely new career? Yes. Is it the beginning of the only thing I see myself doing henceforth? No. Writing is my passion. My love. It is a part of me and always will be. But if this is the only thing I want to pursue for all my years to come. I don't think so. But right now a more hilarious aspect of my debut makes me laugh out loud every time I think of it. Every time someone mentions it. And every time I look at the cover. 
I am super excited that everyone is loving it. I am also super excited that it has grown on me. Yes! It had to grow on me. My first reaction to it was "WHAT? NO!!!". Really, it was. I was far too skeptical and far too shy of the idea of too much leg as it were on the cover of my debut in the public eye. I thought it was waaaay too much. I was hoping for god knows what... Something different obviously (but that's too much description for this time of the evening so lets just leave it at that for now, shall we?). But as they say, never say never. I said never when I called my best friend after forwarding her the email with the cover attached. I said, "Oh my god! What am I going to do? I will speak with Vaishali now. This can't be the cover. My first book can't look so sexual. Don't you think this is too sexual? It's like this chick is doing something naughty! No. Never. This can't be it!" I was clearly close to a full-blown panic attack and obviously ranting. And She just laughed out loud and said, "you know what, I love it. It is spunky and retro and fun. And that's what your book is. And you know what, these look like your legs! They do. Be honest. Did you pose for this picture?" Imagine my horror as my hear rate climbed several notches and I broke into a sweat. I said, "Shit! This cannot be it. Never. Never. Never. Ever. I am writing back to Vaishali right now."
And the fact that I am recounting this is making me laugh out loud too. As they say, never say never. Oopps! Have I said that already? I think I have. Anyway, so as luck would have it, when I went to the Penguin office in November during my whirlwind trip of India, I was shown the cover with much excitement and I was horrified. After having gone through the entire process of saying I didn't quiet like this option and if they had another one, I had selected something rather different from this. And guess what, predictably, my best friend had not liked it. "Hai hai! You are so boring. Just like I have to force you to wear colour, do I now have to force you to not go with this new option?" she asked, resigned almost.
But coming back to where we were, the look on my face was enough. All I remember Vaishali saying next was, "Oh my god! You don't like the cover! You don't like the cover?" and I just meekly nodded my head and said "no no! This is fine. Good in fact. I like it. Just that it wasn't my first choice that's all. I was expecting to see something different. But his is cool. I like it." I was kicking myself mentally for having said never and for the next couple of weeks slept fitfully at the thought of all the comments I'd have to hear. How this cover got chosen is also another story in itself so we shall leave that aside too for now. 
But having said all this, I am in love with the cover now. I absolutely love it. I do! If I could I would put a poster of it on my back and walk around Florence. 
But I still haven't said out loud what is making me laugh out loud. The fact that everyone has been asking me if those really are my legs. Really. Interestingly mostly from women. Especially those who know about my undying love for shoes and my subconscious ability to constantly wear the shortest shorts or skirts, thus keeping my limbs out for all to see. I quiet like my legs you see and that is something everyone who knows me knows too. If there is one thing I flaunt it will be them limbs. The lower ones that is. And as another dear friend put it, "do you have those shoes. They are so like something you'd have. I want them too." 
What are the chances that my debut in the public eye has legs and shoes as its most visible aspects? Seriously! Well, like I always say, when it comes to me, the chances of something like that happening are very high.
And in this case I can firmly rest my case too.