Don't tell me otherwise... I absolutely refuse to believe you!

The good ones always finish last.
Yes they do!
Now don't go say that I’m just saying this because it's been a bad day, a bad week, a bad month or a bad year...
Don't say that it is not true.
It is and I know it as sure as I know that the sun rises from the east and sets in the west.
Trouble is... honesty, simplicity and truth is simply not taken at face value anymore.
We descend from generations of in-between-the-line readers and we take that just another notch higher...
We cannot help it.
The truth is when something is simple, we must complicate it.
We must question it.
We must litter that reality with hypothetical questions and observations drawn from the experience of others.
We must never believe that simple and plain can be true and just as it is... as it appears.
Simple.
It’s too complicated to understand and too simple to be real.
I believe straight and simple is good.
And being good gets you nowhere.
Nowhere.
So yes, I do firmly believe that the good ones finish last.
But then you might want to add, that they are also the ones to have the last laugh.
I might give you that one... For I do believe I will get my laugh too.
Yet, I'd like my laugh before my hair is all silver and my skin all expensive-cream soaked mush pretending to be young.
I'd like to stay good.
Now if only I could infuse a bit of a bitch in right there somewhere.
I wouldn't mind having a laugh a little before the one at the very end.
I'd rather finish a bit sooner.
A bit saner.
A little bit of a sinner.
I'd rather not be good.
Or simple for that matter!

The joke's on me. Again!

Yes, it is!
I find it fascinating just how do I always manage to land at the point called confusion within this circle of things I call my life. Before you throw the ‘circles are round and you always end up coming back to the same point’ analogy at me, allow me to say that I use the word circle for the lack of a better word. You know, circle of life kind of analogy etc etc. I am merely referring to a state of mind where the head is nothing but a muddle of slush.
And what really is sparking this newest onset of slushiness is something that is the really annoying bit. Just when you think all your plans are finally in motion, exactly how you wanted them to be, there comes along a bump and makes you subconsciously shift gears. And this time the gear shifting is of the itchiest kind. As much as I would rather not, I find myself thinking of things I have not yet considered. Listening to songs I usually don’t, staring at the phone and watching the watch. Constantly. And despite this new outbreak of idiocy there is that weight in the pit of the stomach that keeps bringing the head back to sense and reality. A routine conundrum you might say. Just that the first half of this is not routine. And has never been. At least not for me.
And now while I go figure what to do with myself, you may laugh. What are the chances that I will figure this out soon and in a predictable way? Well, for once, I don’t know.