Lemons you see, they get around everywhere…

“I don’t do atta” I had proclaimed a few years ago. I still don’t . For some reason my friends found that hilarious. They still do. But over three-and-a-half years later, I came close to doing it. I had a lump of pre-prepared clay in front of me and I had to knead it till there were no air bubbles in it. So I did knead. But not atta.  Small saving graces.

I’ve been meaning to learn doing something constructive with clay for years now. I thought my first class would be learning how to make a small little cup on a wheel. And at the end of that class I’ll come home grinning with a little, badly shaped cup, all smiles and happies in place. But no. It wasn’t. It was about kneading right. And also, about making coils. It did make me happy though. But it also made me realize that I pretty much suck at making thin coils of clay or placing them in any order. But then again, the last time I played with clay I was in primary school. Plus, first class and all that jazz. It was still awesome though. And the second class was even better.

So yeah, I finally have the time to learn pottery. Never thought it would happen this way. So many plans didn’t work out and then suddenly life throws you a really raw lemon and you play with “dough”, weathering the Bombay monsoon, while you wait for it to ripen and see what to do with it. Well, in this case I could keep it basic and stick with lemonade eventually. But then, that’s boring right. I am thinking lemon cupcakes. I’ve never tried those before. But no harm in trying, right? Couldn’t get worse than this.

Now some lemons have hidden wheels and may take you far far away from where you are right now. This one might not just lead to some botched cupcakes but a move back to Delhi. Not that I am closed to that. So yeah, lemon on the side, play with the clay as the rain comes down. It has to be ripe before I can even set out a plan of action in motion.

All in a limbo. Now. Just before I make the age meter add a one after a three and a perfect repeat of where I was at just this time, just after finishing Manki’s story, four years ago. Maybe this is a sign. The first book was a story set in summer. The next is slowly kneading itself in my mind. This will be set in a space and time when the skies open up, the rains come down and wash everything around but just never the parts that we wish had been washed away.  

Lemons you see, they get around everywhere… Tiny little round buggers. Oh well! For now the kneading goes on and the lemons with their blindsiding ways wait. To strike. Lemons are them ill-timed monsters that we never want to see. Now what are the chances of that happening… 


Where do we go…

 It is a wall
I did not see
I smacked right in
It hurts
You cannot see my pain
No one can
You cannot see my blood
No one can
There is none
It is invisible
Like your wall
But I see
And I feel
And I look
I look at you beyond the wall
It’s wet and salty
It pours down my face
Pools in an invisible pool of emptiness and air
It’s wiping my faith
It’s wiping my strength
I clutch to the edges of love
It’s twisting and coiling
The edges are slipping
My fingers feel heavy
And so does my heart
I sink against this wall
Its cold
I can’t see
I don’t know
I don’t know anything anymore
Where do we go?
Where do we go…